New term!!! Back to SG, new exp

Okay, So I came back to SG on last 17th Oct 2015. So, these days, couple of things keep popping and stressing me out. Since I had already installed whatsapp, and wechat because of our education system, some pricks played pricks on me, like what? They kept saying that they know me, but I don't fucking know them, I was freaking out at the time, and there is another girl who doesn't really close to me, she is 20, I don't want to mention her name. She suddenly chatted me out of nowhere, I really don't know why. She told me about things that are really hostile for me, as I can just keep the contain by myself. I had to wear a mask as I'd already handle that kind of thing before. But, it was really scaring me, I was asking in myself, "am I really that young to hear something like that? Am I really that inexperience?" I was scared. So I asked for advices with Vania, Jessica, and Ily. They are very helpful, but the rest I know I should finish it by myself. My roommate keep asking me why did I concern her or give her care so much? The reason is because I am afraid she can't move on and I was thinking too much like she will suicide or something. So, I just keep carry on. I was very positive with her after I talked to her a few days ago. Until today, at this moment, she keep asking me to lie to her landlord. She was actually dating a guy, and she asked me to lie that I was going out with her. I rejected her, I said that you should be honest to your mother. Guest what, her landlord just called me right now, she asked me whether I was going out with her today, I replied yes at first, we went to clarke quay, and then the landlord asked what time? And where did you guys meet again? This time I replied after secinds because I was thinking what should I reply, I am not the type of person who lie, because I lied a lot in my past, I didn't like the endings. It comes out, I am become a person who can't lie, it is just clashing with my principles, so this time I replied the truth that we never actually met each other. Not, because I didn't care about her, it is just as a friend I should make her a better person, I don't want she regret after she had done before by lying so much. I don't want her to end up like me. What should I do, what should I do, this questions keep bugging me all the time, I don't know who I should ask for help, because I know in the end, I have to resolve it by myself. I did what is better for her and for me, if I were lying to her landlord, I am sure, very sure, she will always do the mistakes over and over,and receive the punishments again and again. I mean just why she wanted to do mistakes while she already know the consequences. I am now crying while writing this post, alone in the room, and I haven't tell anybody yet this far. I hope LaoMu will agree with my decision, I hope this decision will not make me regret and make me stronger, and more mature in the futurem because right now I think I did a right thing, and I don't feel regret, even we have to see in each other in the future. I am shocked right now, I need time to understand myself.

Return to Batam

I came back to Batam directly a day after the exam on last 23nd September 2015, Well, I saw different types of exam participants there (many participants want to end the exam quickly and submit it less than 10 minutes and I was like,why the hell they participate the exam anyway?!!) They were just wasting their parents' money. I think they still haven't realize that some of us were struggling and striving put our lives as bet just to take part in this exam properly. Anyway, let's move to another stories, I spent most of my holiday in my house watching YouTube (Respecting my "Me Time"). On 4th October, Me, Fitrini, Merry Suryanti, and Celine were hanging out at BCS (our eternal favorite location). I was moved that they're still remember me so well and understand me as we're still in High School. And we talked many things and all kinds of gossips as that is one of women behaviors that we have. But, it's not like that I'm forgetting the rest of Aboi is Better's. I love them too, It was just they're not really have any times right now, and I am totally understand them about this point. Ily will be coming this 16th or 14th October if I still remember hmm. I am concerning whether she will enjoy this trip. So, I arrange some plans for her in order to prevent any regret of disappointment. She made me moved by her words "It's okay, I just want to see you and Polo" when I told her that I maybe couldn't bring her to some places. She is really understand me, and that's what makes me like her. She makes me feel comfortable whenever I am with her. I feel blessed to have her and Aboi is Better as friends, and my parents who are totally supporting me to welcome Ily. Thank You everyone.