Feeling frustated today

I mean like, why did I even care whether she brings her uniform or not, u know today i planned to throw myself away for you, even that i know you didnt ask for it, but at least please know and appreciate my feeling by talk to me more, care for me, or at least ask me anything that would make me explain a lot.... I know it is selfish to ask people to consider your feeling, but I didn't ask in front of her, cause in fact, I dont want her to know, so maybe i will just bury it and dream about it. I think Im frustated cause i do adore her and care for her. P. s never post your complaints on FB or any other social media, it is not safe.

Is it summer now?

Well well,, It is been a while and a long time I haven't write any... I'm entering my last module to complete my advanced diploma, it is industry project... This time, unfortunately I could not be with Ily in the same class, for she already considered as graduated student from advanced diploma.... but I still can be with Olivia at least. She is a very adorable person, I love her, I'm gonna put her into my friend lists in Singapore though I don't have one hahaha... know what? She made a cake on her own and readying to share it with me and Jessica, cute right???!!! I'm happy she has a very kind heart, she is so open to me, and she is also from Batam too. At first, I thought that it will be hard to be close with her cuz u know, she is from quite wealthy family in Batam, and I had a thought that she will not want to be friend with me because we re on the different level. I mean, she is on higher level. Her appearance is so fahionable, stylish, too, and kawaii and she has a lot of those kind of friends, which I lack of. Then, I lost my all confidences to be close with her. But, here we are now, she wants to be friend with me, I was really moved by it. I got fever and diarrhea a few days ago. It was total suffer for me. When someone is sick, he or she will think that they're the only ones who are sick and simply put it, feeling lonely and will feel better when they look at another sick people, how was that sound??? I got that from Gintama hahahaha sick, right?? And today, Jessica is sick. She got fever... I don't know where does it come from, but the is suffering now indeed. I supposed to have a date today with Olivia at Marina Barrage and it happened that she also couldn't make it, she got period sickness. Jessica has a tendency when she got fever or whatever, her face areas including ear will bubbled up, or we called it "bengkak". Today she covered her face with towel. What i feel pissed off is, don't you think it's a bit rude? I mean, we have been living together until now and she still couldn't be opened to me, "kanojo wa, boku no koto shinjiranai kara sa, tabun". Well all I could conclude is she still doen't believe in me. OMG i feel so worthless.