New term!!! Back to SG, new exp

Okay, So I came back to SG on last 17th Oct 2015. So, these days, couple of things keep popping and stressing me out. Since I had already installed whatsapp, and wechat because of our education system, some pricks played pricks on me, like what? They kept saying that they know me, but I don't fucking know them, I was freaking out at the time, and there is another girl who doesn't really close to me, she is 20, I don't want to mention her name. She suddenly chatted me out of nowhere, I really don't know why. She told me about things that are really hostile for me, as I can just keep the contain by myself. I had to wear a mask as I'd already handle that kind of thing before. But, it was really scaring me, I was asking in myself, "am I really that young to hear something like that? Am I really that inexperience?" I was scared. So I asked for advices with Vania, Jessica, and Ily. They are very helpful, but the rest I know I should finish it by myself. My roommate keep asking me why did I concern her or give her care so much? The reason is because I am afraid she can't move on and I was thinking too much like she will suicide or something. So, I just keep carry on. I was very positive with her after I talked to her a few days ago. Until today, at this moment, she keep asking me to lie to her landlord. She was actually dating a guy, and she asked me to lie that I was going out with her. I rejected her, I said that you should be honest to your mother. Guest what, her landlord just called me right now, she asked me whether I was going out with her today, I replied yes at first, we went to clarke quay, and then the landlord asked what time? And where did you guys meet again? This time I replied after secinds because I was thinking what should I reply, I am not the type of person who lie, because I lied a lot in my past, I didn't like the endings. It comes out, I am become a person who can't lie, it is just clashing with my principles, so this time I replied the truth that we never actually met each other. Not, because I didn't care about her, it is just as a friend I should make her a better person, I don't want she regret after she had done before by lying so much. I don't want her to end up like me. What should I do, what should I do, this questions keep bugging me all the time, I don't know who I should ask for help, because I know in the end, I have to resolve it by myself. I did what is better for her and for me, if I were lying to her landlord, I am sure, very sure, she will always do the mistakes over and over,and receive the punishments again and again. I mean just why she wanted to do mistakes while she already know the consequences. I am now crying while writing this post, alone in the room, and I haven't tell anybody yet this far. I hope LaoMu will agree with my decision, I hope this decision will not make me regret and make me stronger, and more mature in the futurem because right now I think I did a right thing, and I don't feel regret, even we have to see in each other in the future. I am shocked right now, I need time to understand myself.

Return to Batam

I came back to Batam directly a day after the exam on last 23nd September 2015, Well, I saw different types of exam participants there (many participants want to end the exam quickly and submit it less than 10 minutes and I was like,why the hell they participate the exam anyway?!!) They were just wasting their parents' money. I think they still haven't realize that some of us were struggling and striving put our lives as bet just to take part in this exam properly. Anyway, let's move to another stories, I spent most of my holiday in my house watching YouTube (Respecting my "Me Time"). On 4th October, Me, Fitrini, Merry Suryanti, and Celine were hanging out at BCS (our eternal favorite location). I was moved that they're still remember me so well and understand me as we're still in High School. And we talked many things and all kinds of gossips as that is one of women behaviors that we have. But, it's not like that I'm forgetting the rest of Aboi is Better's. I love them too, It was just they're not really have any times right now, and I am totally understand them about this point. Ily will be coming this 16th or 14th October if I still remember hmm. I am concerning whether she will enjoy this trip. So, I arrange some plans for her in order to prevent any regret of disappointment. She made me moved by her words "It's okay, I just want to see you and Polo" when I told her that I maybe couldn't bring her to some places. She is really understand me, and that's what makes me like her. She makes me feel comfortable whenever I am with her. I feel blessed to have her and Aboi is Better as friends, and my parents who are totally supporting me to welcome Ily. Thank You everyone.

Individual and Group Assignment and Tofu Guy

Month passed after a month. Just a wink of my eyes, the due dates of the assignments has finally attack me one by one. Fortunately I done my both individual assignments quickly (marketing for hospitality and tourism and accommodation service). At the time it was a very tiring and pressuring days for me. I had to do my marketing's both individual and group assignment many times, it was such a ciken dayy...... But I had a certain person who was coloring my fucked up days. I will name it Tofu Guy. This tofu guy is very detailed apart from its looks. hahahha Me and Ily have been through under his cikened plan an instructions more than 2 times if I can assume. Even tough he is very obstinate like me after all, for some reasons, he is just contaminated my mind. I assume it isn't a love, maybe it is just a some fucked up obsessions or fantasies, since I have been really lonely (jones) these times. He makes me feel so excited hahaha. He got that sweet smile, nice teeth, intense slanted eyes .... (and just now i got a news from my mama that my dog has became a mother, congrats hua hua). Ok, let's continue the Tofu Guy. He is white, and I It just makes me want to have him, to give a bite if I can hahahha, sounds crazy right? (thirsty beast)... But I won't do the same mistake, I won't tell him that he is handsome in my eyes, I also don't want him to know that I think of him every times, every nights, ciken.... I can't force him to like me anyway. I'm still learning not to force the one that I interested in to do the same thing to me, it is not even a love anyway, just an obsession .... yes, it is. Don't you take it so hard now, and please don't take it so bad.... I'm still thinking about you, and the time we had baby (guns n roses_don't cry)

Gym with Ily

Me and Ily went to gym two days before, she was amazing, she burnt almost 300 calories and the condition is still as well as before she started to gym. Before we reach the gym, we had gone to bugis street to spend time on foot. We got lost hahahahaha but I enjoy it so much, I finally hangout with a real friend beside with my roommate. But I also enjoyed my time with Jessica everyday, like a sister to me. I ate 3 times burger king this week. I ate it alone, then with Ily and then Jessica. My best times in SG are spent with them. Love you guys.

My adaptation

I was quite under pressure after these day passed in SG. I was lonely at the first time at moments that my roommate, Jessica could not manage to come back due to some occassion. But, I am getting used of it now. I have been making friends through assignment progress, such as Ily (my current bestfriends, and I hope we will be bestfriends forever), Amanda (the chinese girl, she is very tall like model), Jeremy (in my roommate's perspective, he is plain, but to me his smile is sweet, his eyes are quite intimidating in positive ways, i like it, and he also very polite to seniors), Beth (also a chinese girl, she is very hardworking, friendly, and very nice to everyone, reminds me of my previous principle). But I didn't mean that I completely forgot about Abois girl in Batam. Sometimes, when I feel lonely, I chat them in line group chat, and sometimes I make a call to Xena (she is funny and hillarious), she is my favorite in Abois girl, but others are adorable as well), maybe its my inner perspective that Xena is the one I can call because she seems not very busy like any other else. I hope she could manage to study in university one day.

Yu Ara {Ily}-Second Day in ERCi

I made a Korean friend today... Her name is Yu Ara (Ily). She is my first friend I've ever made in ERCi, exclude Jessica cause she is my roommate and junior high friend already, hahahahaa. Ily loves healthy lifestyle. She loves healthy food, she loves to work out, she loves uwongiii (her dog in Korea) like I love Polo, and she loves her family and boyfriend as well. If I'm not wrong her boyfriend named Andrew, it's a student from Kaplan. Her boyfriend is a genius and hardworker. Nice, Ily!! She is really nice to me, she has her own self-esteem and her own way of life, and honest. She is beautiful without any surgeries under her skin, what an innate beauty...even it's a vice versa, it's okay for me, I will accept her as she is. I don't know, somehow, I just feel so comfortable and connected with her, it's thensame feeling with my other close friends. I feel like I could do anything to make her happy. In fact we are like sisters or something. She is 1995's girl. Yesterday, I talked with a Chinese girl, her name is Amanda, but we haven't conform yet our relationship hahahaha Ily is nice, I love her soooooooooo much...

First day in ERCi (04/08/2015)

So, yesterday, was the first day in my institute, and not university. hahaha I was very nervous, very nervous, I can't imagine I live in Singapore. The vicinities are so strange and new for me. I felt that way for the first time. I rewrite the material that day until 01.00 a.m.

I moved to SG today!!!

According to the title, Correct! I moved to SG today.. It was quite exciting because I never really live in other country in my entire life. So, this is the first time, and, my mother's coming and living with me and my roommate, Jessica for several days, until I get used by this SG's lifestyle, and etc. Good. Uhm, actually I miss my father, brother, and Polo (my cat), but, I have to endure it, I have to learn how to be a self-sufficient person. God, please protect my family in Batam. And I hope You will always be with us. And these are my roommate's pictures and her boyfriend's pictures

Rare dream~ (Feeling awesome and blessed)^.^

I dreamt of Aoi_the Gazette Yesterday... And It was awesome ... He gave me his autograph........ yayyy

Poem #1 (Indonesian version) 2012

Irisan Kalbu

Sejak saat itu...
Sebutir debu merapi pun
Tidak ada lagi
Debu yang selalu melekat di kelopaknya

Debu yang memekarkan sekuntum bunga mawar
Bukan putik bukan kumbang
Bukan angin bukan benang sari
Serbuk debu yang melekat

Lapisan-lapisan tajam
Yang dikenang itu
Tak terlupakanlah saat-saat
Bunga memekarkan diri

Ketika memandang balik saat-saat
Ingin sekali, mau lagi, ingin lagi
Tapi sudah terlambat
Debu itu sudah tertiup angin

Dan...
Angin meniup jauh
Debu merapi yang selalu mendampinginya
Hingga...
Sehari seiris kalbu


I compose this one on my first year of senior highschool, and I got 95 for compose and read it in front of class. Fuck, yeahh....

What I most concern now .....

I'm afraid that I'll be someone else (anyone that I don't wanna be) during years after now...

My Dear God, please preserve my own self like this T.T
When my lucidity is still clear as water

I am a SIXTH GUN!!!!

I am a Sixth Gun since 2010, and I am looking forward to the GazettE's new album "DOGMA". It will be released on August